Clarkson Advised Cameron to ‘Veto the Bastards!’

Vito Europe

Jezz all over Europe

A senior source from the Liberal Democrats has suggested that Jeremy Clarkson was secretly smuggled into Belgium to advise David Cameron on how to handle the Eurocrisis.

It is believed that Clarkson, who we all thought was hiding behind the Chinese Wall, lent his own particular brand of decisiveness to British Team and his advice was to have every single one of the European leaders boiled in goose fat and served up as Christmas Dinner for their families and a some poor Romanian Orphans.

Mr Cameron, who knows what a cantankerous old big mouth his mate Jeremy can be, read between the lines and came up with his own toned down version ie. ‘Bugger off and take your fake currency with you!’

Ours source went on to say that Clarkson may have been present during a whole range of ground breaking political upsets including Bill Clinton’s Affair with Monica Lewinsky in which he advised him to ‘Have fun but remember to burn your clothes’ and who could forget his advice to Colonel Gadaffi ‘Go for it, they’re just bluffing!’

It seems that Mr Clarkson is a political ‘gun for hire’ a bit like the A-Team but with leather elbow patches and much worse breath.

If you can find him (not difficult) put up with him, and allow him to smoke in your living room… maybe you could hire the J-Team!