The Living History Foundation has issued a statement regarding the recent increase in cat owners claiming to be archeologists: “You’re not. Stop that.”
All cat owners know that the greatest joy in caring for a feline is cleaning up after their bowel movements. Children wake with excitement of Christmas morning, knowing that they will be greeted with freshly produced pooples just waiting to be sifted from within the sands of the cat box.
Sifting urine clumps, obviously, is a close second. Third is cleaning vomit out of the carpet, and fourth is finding fur in your soup.
Recently however, some pet owners have taken the joy of feline defecation and urination to another level, claiming that the manual extraction of waste from their cat’s litter box somehow qualifies them as amateur archeologists.
Amy Silkens – a completely well woman who totally has it together – dons a hardhat headlamp and beige jumpsuit every time she handles her pearl-handled litter sifter. This would be strange perhaps if she didn’t claim to regularly find fossilized pterodactyl bones in the litter box of her cat Sasha.
The Living History Foundation stands by it’s denouncement of what practitioners have dubbed “Feline Feceology.” According to spokesman Heintz Brelic, “There are no similarities between unearthing a precious artifact from the past, and panning for cat mess. The most obvious difference, to me, is that we generally keep the precious artifacts we discover, while feline waste is, discarded…I assume. Second, our finding are generally millions of years old. If you are finding petrified feces in your cat’s box, you are clearly unfit to own pets.”
Ms. Silkens and others like her remain undeterred, because in this life, many people become passionate about patently ridiculous things and just can’t be convinced to do or think otherwise. Sift on, Silkens!