CleggBook Loses Face

The London Stock Exchange fell sharply yesterday after reports that the coalition government was in crisis following a ‘serious breakdown of trust’ between David Cameron and his Lib-Dem deputy Nick Clegg. Tensions appear to have flared at a Downing Street cabinet meeting yesterday afternoon when the Prime Minister noticed Mr Clegg had left himself logged into Facebook after popping out of the room in order to use the lavatory. Mr Cameron is understood to have changed the Deputy Prime Minister’s status to; ‘Ha-ha just had a bum-baby in my trousers, am going to call it the alternative voting system. nom, nom, nom,’ before altering Mr Clegg’s profile picture to that of an elongated donkey penis. A furious Mr Clegg later released a statement saying; “I am both mortified and deeply offended by this immature and unwarranted attack on my personal affairs. Not only does it show a complete lack of judgement on the part of the Prime Minister but also I’ve got my auntie added as a friend as well and my Nan could easily have got to hear about it and not realised it was just some idiot messing around.â€