Prince Andrew Replaced by Colin Firth?

Prince Andrew is coming under increasing pressure to resign from the royal family over his links to billionaire American sex offender Choirboys Rockmyfella (sic). Buckingham Palace sources have told The Haddock the Prince may be forced to step down should anymore damaging revelations emerge concerning the turbulent personal life of the queen’s second oldest son. However Andrew’s resignation would create a gap within the line of succession that many would be desperate to fill. Here The Haddock looks at the runners and riders who would potentially put their names forward should the situation become vacant.

 

Muammar Gaddafi

The sixty-eight year old soon to be former Libyan leader certainly has the experience to take up the mantle. Like Andrew he has become rich at the expense of his people for over forty years.

 

Sven Goran Erikkson

The former England manager also has plenty in common with the royal family and should fit right in to the regal lifestyle. Like the queen he is a foreigner who has somehow managed to find his way into the public’s affections despite having spent his life not really doing very much at all.

 

David Beckham

Whether its the vacancy for the next England manager or the odds on who becomes the next Prime Minister, Beckham always seems to feature on the list somehow, probably because he pushes up the number of hits on Google. Why should this one be any different?

 

Colin Firth

The Oscar winning thespian is well used to playing royalty and would doubtless bring a touch of much needed Hollywood glamour to the role. However his tendency to climb out of a pond in a wet shirt whilst millions of salivating women look on, seemingly oblivious to the risk of Weil’s disease, may potentially upstage the coming Royal Wedding.

 

George W Bush

The former US President should get along very well with his potential foot-in-mouth father in law Prince Philip and like Andrew would have no problem making dubious but well connected American friends.