Criminals Protest about the lack of Police!

Criminals want more police

Criminals want more police

Statistics published today show that while hundreds of police officers marched in London last week, to protest at public sector cuts, there was a sharp increase in petty crime.

Figures indicate that small time criminals, thieves and other ne’er do wells took advantage of a heavily reduced police presence to indulge in a frenzy of house burglaries, car thefts and other minor offences.

However, one long term burglar, Steven ‘Fingers’ Simpkins spoke out today in defence of his fellow felons. Simpkins said ‘The lads never did it for their own personal gain. Nah. They done it to protest at the lack of coppers on the beat, see. The ordinary public, they need proper protection’.

A number of other known crooks, who didn’t wish to be named, also spoke of their disgust at the public not being given proper defence from the likes of themselves.

Another convict, who wouldn’t give his name said’ The average man on the street needs to be defended against all them tea leafs, punks and scum bags out there, like me and me mates. It’s just not right an’ proper’.

Meanwhile, a spokesperson for the National Police Authority stated ‘Our officers were exercising their democratic right of free speech. It wasn’t just a day out in the capital to see Big Ben, Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace, the London Eye and a bite to eat in Soho’.

Next week’s strike by traffic wardens is expected to bring thousands of motorists protesting by taking advantage of free parking spaces.