Cyndi Lauper releases charity record “Girls Botswana Have Fun”

"Next time you think about how you wanna fuck me, just rememba that I'll do it. But ya gunna get your asshole dildoed first. Lemme know how much ya want it." -Cyndi Lauper on femininity

“Next time you think about how you wanna fuck me, just rememba that I’ll do it. But ya gunna get your asshole dildoed first. Lemme know how much ya want it.” -Cyndi Lauper on femininity

You wouldn’t know it by talking to Cyndi Lauper, but apparently the plight of a large number of people whose lives she knows literally nothing about are of great concern to the aging singer who once banged Hulk Hogan (off camera). It also helps that the country of Ms. Lauper’s unsolicited charity aids in creating one of the greatest musical puns ever devised.

The album, entitled “Girls Botswana Have Fun” is currently being hailed by critics as “Paul Simon’s ‘Graceland’ meets absolutely any two-hit wonder from the 80s.”

During that era Cyndi Lauper rose to stardom with pair of chart-toppers, but equally notorious was the fact that she was the baddest bitch to make sugary pop music in all of tri-state area. During a 1984 performance in Passaic, she once chewed a piece of gum, spit it onto an audience member’s face, then played “The Balad of the Green Beret’s” with her vagina while eating a slice of pizza.

“I woulda did somethin’ else wit the udda hand but it was holdin’ duh horn,” recalls Ms. Lauper. This woman could have a face like Stacy Keach and we’d still be just as interested in ravaging her nakedly.

When asked about her vision for the latest album, Ms. Lauper expounded: “It’s like, the same shit I always done, but with more chanting stuff and handy drums. Like drums ya play wit ya hands. Cause you know…Africa is important.”

The fact that the proceeds of this album will amount to 12 minutes international talk-time on a gas station phone card has been considered. That is why the album is being given away as charity.