David Cross accidentally signs three-year contract with Italian series ‘Aristad d’Elefant’

With the much-anticipated fourth season of the popular American television program “Arrested Development” currently in production, co-star David Cross has found himself in a troubling predicament. Though an unfortunate set of circumstances, the veteran comedian is now not only contracted to complete his run on that show, but also must co-star in the new Italian-language children’s program “Aristad d’Elefant,” based on the beloved book series by author/illustrator Antonio Scarletino of the same name.

The situation is such that Mr. Cross is living up to his surname. “It all started when I misplaced my glasses,” he explains. “A bunch of asshole attorneys and studio execs are shoving papers in my face, pestering me to sign things, and before I know it I’m a villain on some kids show! God, it’s Alvin and the Chipmunks all over again…”

“Aristad d’Elefant” is the story of Aristad, a young elephant from the Calabria wine region of Italy who goes on a magical quest to find the magic grapes that will magically make the most magic of magical wines which will bring love and friendship to all of Italy, fix the country’s economic troubles, and in author Antonio Scarletino’s words, “rid the country of Serbians…with magic.” David Cross is to play the evil Gigio, an ill-tempered porcupine bent on stopping Aristad at every turn.

The timing of the mix-up is especially vexing to Mr. Cross; he had planned on moving into higher profile roles following the filming of the Arrested Development movie, due out sometime in 2014. “Odenkirk’s greasy mug is all over ‘Breaking Bad,’ and I’m a god damn evil porcupine. How many grapes does Bob have to smuggle from Brian Cranston on that show? Huh? How many Serbians does Bob have to exile over there?”

Recording sessions for Aristad begin in mid-October.