David Moyes to replace Nick Clegg

Clegg MoyesDavid Moyes doesn’t understand politics – Perfect!

David Moyes has been kicked out of Manchester United because he apparently doesn’t understand his job, Nick Clegg is still leader of the Liberal Democrats despite being in exactly the same predicament.

Vince Cable has hit upon a plan to gently removed the confused little imp from power and replace him with someone more gritty, angry and wronged…David Moyes!

How is he going to do this? Simple…from now on only former football mangers can run the Liberal Democrats…which nullifies Clegg’s position leaving it free for a grown up.

Another added bonus is that Mr Moyes doesn’t understand politics making him ideal for the role.

Everyone at Liberal Democrats HQ (Starbucks) is said to be thrilled and it’s Advocaat and lemonade (official drink of the yellows) all round!

Prime Minister David Cameron on the other hand is not best pleased on account of the fact that Mr Moyes is a competent human being and so, to his mind at least, has no place in politics.

Mr Cameron fears competence like a worm fears lobsters (they’ve never met but the very idea is fucking scary).