Did You Know?

Welcome to the Haddock News ‘Did You Know?’ Archive

Here you will find all world knowledge, every thing you’ll ever need, the secret of eternal life and plenty of utter bollocks if  you and your mates have got nothing to talk about…

Did you know that our lead anchor Bernard Floater was once in a metal band?
Did you know that you already Knew that? There are equal amounts of Twats and Assholes in the world and there are twice as many Tits!
Did you know. Fat people can register their belly buttons as Bird boxes during springtime!
Did you know: Morbidly Obese New York Cops are orbited by tiny donut crumbs?
Did You Know?  …that the “Keep Calm and Carry On” campaign was originally targeted at semi-sober drivers stopped by the police?
Did you know?  Magicians and Illusionists get ill and pay taxes just like the rest of us which proves that magic is in fact total bollocks!
Did you know?  There is no official statistic for the number of people who fabricate their answers on questionnaires!
Did You Know? …that “hey yourself” is the stupidest possible way to respond to some one greeting you with a “hey”?
Did You Know? …that a peeping sniper never fires?
Did You Know? …that actor Gary Oldman enjoys fencing? Not the sport, but the act of enclosing yards and other spacious areas.
Did You Know? …that Al Jolson also did Chinese-face?
Did You Know? …that all Baron Haddock did in the 80’s was read books and listen to the Canadian pop-rock band Loverboy?
Did You Know? …that along with the Greeks, Oscar Wilde is often cited as a co-creator of homosexuality
Did You Know? …that Andy Murray better win the gold today…OR ELSE!!
Did You Know? …that Artie the Diuretic Seahorse is a comic book character beloved by the children of Croatia?
Did You Know? …that Aubrey O’Day’s crazy eyes can turn you into a loaf of bread? ZOMBIE bread?!
Did You Know? …that babies are still having babies, who are in turn having mini-babies, who are having progressively smaller micro-babies.
Did You Know? …that before Georgia O’Keeffe, it was considered taboo to have sex with flowers?
Did You Know? …that Brazilian tourists will clap for anything?
Did You Know? …that by putting a feather in his cap (and prostituting Wendy Darling), Peter Pan became the first pimp of Never Neverland?
Did You Know? …that Camilla Parker Bowles was named after the chicken from The Muppet Show?
Did You Know? …That canned Spam can survive a nuclear winter?
Did You Know? …that cannibalism is legal in Borneo, as long as the eater and eatee are blood relatives?
Did You Know? …that cats are actually amphibians? news
Did You Know? …that Cola drinkers are 83% more likely to like the taste of Cola compared to non-Cola drinkers?
Did You Know? …that David Bowie didnt invent music, but did intercept the coded alien messages that would eventually lead to its creation?
Did You Know? …that despite the Nicki Minaj song, starships were NOT meant to fly-y-y-yy, but rather to build cities on rock and roll.
Did You Know? …that despite their name, cuttlefish are violently opposed to snuggling out of water?
Did You Know? …that Diane Lane was sexy once?
Did You Know? …that dolphins are not really as smart as humans wish they were, but we keep pretending because they’re so damn cute.
Did You Know? …that every attractive Indian woman in the world is already engaged?
Did You Know? …that every girl on Plenty of Fish is a hair stylist?
Did You Know? …that every song Taylor Swift has ever written has actually been about her collection of miniature tea sets?
Did You Know? …that everyone on Twitter is a writer?
Did You Know? …that fat people are exceptional Cupid Shufflers?
Did You Know? …that fish can breathe underwater due to the natural phenomenon of osmosis?
Did You Know? …that Genghis Khan penned over 400 love poems to his horse Xui only to slaughter the animal when it rejected his advances?
Did You Know? …that George Harrison’s weeping guitar is considered a holy relic by ultra-orthodox Beatles fans?
Did You Know? …that getting a website redesigned is like getting your teeth pulled via your ear canal?
Did You Know? …that ice pizza is Antarctica’s primary export?
Did You Know? …that if everyone held off on masturbing for 24 hours, the entire planet would experience a rainless day thereafter?
Did You Know? …that if the NewsCorp phone hacking scandal is found to tie into the Barclays banking scandal, the UK might explode?
Did You Know? …that if you ask “is it supposed to rain today?” when it is already raining, you are not a very bright person
Did You Know? …that if you depart from an airport with crab-patterned carpeting you’ll have good luck for a year?
Did You Know? …that if you have a friend who is a DJ, s/he is probably an asshole (regardless of talent level)
Did You Know? …that if you have a wife, and she has a Twitter account, that there are guys trying to bang your wife via Twitter?
Did You Know? …that if you make popcorn in the breakroom and don’t share it, you’ve essentially become the Hitler of the office?
Did You Know? …that if you play “Tonight We are Young” in a club, every white person will sing the chorus like their lives depended on it?
Did You Know? …that if you put your Mac into “Discovery Mode,” magical wi-fi fairies will leave dirty pictures under your pillow!
Did You Know? …that I’m a dancin’ man, and I just can’t lose?
Did You Know? …that in Brazil, there are drive thru plastic surgery clinics?
Did You Know? …that in certain parts of rural Peru, today is Christmas Day.
Did You Know? …that in Chile, birds are used at as dining utensils?
Did You Know? …that in Hawaii, loose women are referred to as “riding mowers”?
Did You Know? …that in Japan, musical cigarettes have been linked to tone-deafness?
Did You Know? …that in parts of Somalia, women are not allowed to exist?
Did You Know? …that in some countries it is considered disrespectful to do the Gangnam Style dance at funerals?
Did You Know? …that it’s hard out here for a pimp, even still?
Did You Know? …that Jack Daniels makes a delightful replacement for pizza sauce?
Did You Know? …that Jesus is just alright with me? But, ya know…JUST alright…
Did You Know? …that Jonathan Davis of American rock band Korn has a son named “Pirate Houseman Davis,” and that no one ever picks on him?
Did You Know? …that Kid Rock is still making music? Also he still looks like an extra from “True Grit”
Did You Know? …that leaf-blowers are acceptable accessories during fashion week in Norwich?
Did You Know? …that liking The Haddock on facebook will eliminate acne and instantly teach you Latin?
Did You Know? …that listening to a funky groove will cleanse your soul and leave a lemony after-smell?
Did You Know? …that listening to ambient music is the audible equivalent of watching paint dry?
Did You Know? …that Manila is a kilometer under water right now? No? Don’t worry, doesn’t affect the Olympics any..
Did You Know? …that many ballet dancers are allergic to Cats? The musical, not the actual animals.
Did You Know? …that most potholes are caused by tiny insects known as “divot gremlins” that feed upon asphalt?
Did You Know? …that Mr. T still does not get down with jive ass turkeys, even to this day?
Did You Know? …that no man on earth has ever found Ugg boots attractive?
Did You Know? …that nobody cares about your stories from when you were a radio operator in Desert Storm, Steve! NOBODY!
Did You Know? …that none of our human contributors passed Sunscreening 101?
Did You Know? …that Norman Reedus is the only man named Norman to ever keep the bitches wet?
Did You Know? …that on Youtube, the average upload time for a 12-minute video is nearly 400 years?
Did You Know? …that one of J. Edgar Hoover’s favorite private forays into transvestism was dressing as Chiquita Banana?
Did You Know? …that people at the goth club dance like they’re doing syncronized swimming (individually)?
Did You Know? …that plus-sized sex workers in Thailand are known as “Shashepums” which roughly translates to “Moo Bunnies”
Did You Know? …that putting your cellphone in the microwave after pissing on it will do more harm than good?
Did You Know? …that rather than using a crates to stand on, Napoleon had arcade games customized to his height at Tuileries Palace?
Did You Know? …that relationships are ridiculous with or without autism?
Did You Know? …that rice cakes can double as edible beer coasters? Sloppily poured pints become flavoring to taste!
Did You Know? …that shower sex feels just as good alone as it does with a partner? Try it today!
Did You Know? …that smoking cigarettes makes your clothing smell like sweet summer flowers?
Did You Know? …that somewhere on the planet, Paula Abdul is drinking in excess and poorly tipping the wait staff?
Did You Know? …that somewhere, at this very moment, some one is #freestyle rapping?
Did You Know? …that Spain has public restrooms if you look hard enough?
Did You Know? …that stairs were invented in both the 5th century BC and AD?
Did You Know? …that stalkers are physically unable to grasp the concept of “new pussy”?
Did You Know? …that supermodels try to cry daily to keep their tear ducts skinny?
Did You Know? …that symphonies are so long because life was dreadfully boring when classical music was en vogue?
Did You Know? …that Tanya Harding doesn’t feel bad about it at all?
Did You Know? …that telling a person to relax in a tense situation is the best way to get them to do anything but relax?
Did You Know? …that the 63rd most popular gift item for married women in UK is a tongue scraper?
Did You Know? …that the accordion player gets the most pussy out of any member of the Portugese band?
Did You Know? …that the band Nickleback got their name because if you “paid a nickle to hear their music, you’d want your nickle back”?
Did You Know? …that the best-selling shemale porn video in the world of high fashion is called “Vera’s Wang”?
Did You Know? …that the Caspian Sea is considered the biggest asshole in the oceanic community?
Did You Know? …that the Cassowary is a type of bird that we don’t particularly care for?
Did You Know? …that the Father Ted episode “Tenticles of Doom” has been scientifically proven to be a perfect episode of television?
Did You Know? …that the Ford Fiesta is the least party-ready automobile in existence?
Did You Know? …that the gentle brush of one man’s arm-hair against anothers is why the term “cringe worthy” was invented?
Did You Know? …that the isosceles triangle is considered the most well-dressed figure in the Geometry world?
Did You Know? …that the Nevada city called Reno is named after Mike Reno of Baron Haddock’s favorite band Loverboy?
Did You Know? …that the shittiest MOR-based Apple product to ever be released is the Fleetwood Mac II?
Did You Know? …that the sitar is the only instrument that can talk?
Did You Know? …that the Sony corporation once sacrificed a live goat during the launch party for a game called God of War?
Did You Know? …that the sound of a snare drum being played can induce labor in certain types of tree frogs?
Did You Know? …that the tears of a clown taste like strawberry jam? Next time you see a sad one, walk right up and lick their cheeks!
Did You Know? …that the US stop sign might be redesigned due to MMA fighters continually attempting to fight inside them?
Did You Know? …that the word “mirror” comes from the Latin phrase “mi mimron laetan,” or “I look like horseshit today”?
Did You Know? …that there is a 68% chance that your Twitter account has been hacked (and as such, that youre sending really annoying DMs)?
Did You Know? …that there is a 72% chance that your boss has slept with you?
Did You Know? …that there is a private hot tub in the House of Lords that is always in operation, but no one is allowed to use?
Did You Know? …that there is a secret string of words that, when spoken in the correct order, erases your bosses memory of you being late?
Did You Know? …that there is no word for “tungsten” in Portuguese?
Did You Know? …that this entire tweet was typed with a human tongue? Thanks for the lone of it, Steve!
Did You Know? …that this is Haddock News’ 3000th tweet? Dryer lint cocktails for everybody! We like ours with a twist of loose change.
Did You Know? …that this tweet was typed without hands?
Did you know? …that though it’s peanut butter jelly time, no baseball bat is present?
Did You Know? …that though Rod Stewart is not Kristin Stewart’s father, he wouldn’t mind her calling him daddy!
Did You Know? …that to afford the web design we’d like, it’d take another 130 years of working in the salt mines? Problems
Did You Know? …that tomorrow you’re getting a special gift from The Haddock? Stay tuned!!
Did You Know? …that UK Indepence Party rep. and Euroskeptic Nigel Farage does cock push-ups every morning before formulating his tirades?
Did You Know? …that underwater charcoal grilling saves you the trouble of having to catch fish? We do not condone such behavior, however.
Did You Know? …that waiting in the shop for auto repair work to be completed is a little slice of purgatory right here on earth?
Did You Know? …that watching The Warriors before bed will turn you into a real man by morning? #fact
Did You Know? …that we enjoy sleeping in the nude? We’re fish though; what’s YOUR excuse?!
Did You Know? …that when cannonballs come into contact with gun powder, the taste of ginger is produced? Lick one to see for yourself!
Did You Know? …that whiskey-drinking competitions make for the absolute best staff meetings? HQ
Did You Know? …that your computer knows what type of underwear you’re wearing? It can’t see it yet, but soon enough.. #looksexyforyourmac
Did You Know? …that you’re now now rockin with, http://t.co/yehy0ArO and Britney bitch? #BringtheAction #homosexuality
Did You Know? …the eating twelve servings of brocolli a day will increase the sale of brocolli in your local market?
Did You Know? …we only came for the bitches and the drinks? (Which one are you, exactly?)
Did You Know? ..that #Wimbledon fired their groundskeeping staff? (If ur watching Murray vs Tsonga of course you did – look at that shite!)
Did You Know? ..that before dinner bells were invented, women in rural farming regions had to lure men to the dinner table via mating dance?
Did You Know? ..that corn can be used as a floatation device? That’s why there is generally an ear or two under your seat on most airplanes!
Did You Know? ..that Gangnam Style is actually a documentary? S Korea is nothing but crazy people prancing around like theyre riding horses!
Did You Know? ..that Garfield Wood invented hydraulic lifting in 1911 as a means to bounce his car up and down while listening to rap music?
Did You Know? ..that Haddock UK tweets about Socialism with the sole intent of pissing off Haddock US? #itworks #easilyriled #whatelections?
Did You Know? ..that in fast food “crispy” and “extra crispy” are often identical except in places where laws require a visible distinction?
Did You Know? ..that on an airplane your ears “popping” is actually your brain cells expanding beyong capacity? Doesnt make you smarter tho.
Did You Know? ..that sometimes people just go to sleep and die? On a related note, anyone care to drop by the HQ to help us move some stuff?
Did You Know? ..that the island where Tom Hanks was stranded in the film Cast Away is technically more economically stable than the Eurozone
Did you know? 1 in 5 relationships begin online… but a lot more happen on drugs!
Did you know? 15% more people become sexually aroused whilst watching TV now that most adverts are narrated in a soft Scottish Accent!
Did you know? 70% of American movie audiences still think that changing gear in a ‘stick-shift’ makes it go faster and do screechy-skids!
Did you know? 8 out of 10 Deep voiced commentators on war documentaries record their voice overs whilst performing a sexual act!
Did you know? 9 out of 10 window cleaning gondolas on high rise office buildings are well stocked with pornography!
Did you know? A cup of Female post-natal hormones on the end of a soft clean cloth will bring up a shine on the most tarnished silver!
Did you know? A pregnant goldfish is called a Dirty Fishy Slapper!
Did you know? A Rabbit’s teeth never stop growing! Never! So when your pet rabbit dies; bury it face down if you value your lawn!
Did you know? A Slug has four noses! Aim one at a line of coke and watch a true wonder of nature unfold before your very eyes!
Did you know? A starfish doesn’t have a brain! So, if you meet a starfish and tell him ‘You look like a fucking asshole’ he won’t be upset!
Did you know? A toilet proof phone is worth ten thousand pointless Apps! And yet you still can’t buy one!
Did You Know? A turtle can breathe through its ass? Think about that next time a turtle hands you a joint!
Did you know? A woman doing her makeup on the train is better than porn for some men!
Did you know? Abraham Lincoln was knocked out and concussed by one of the world’s first steam-powered beard trimmers? During intercourse…
Did you know? Amnesia can be contracted via human urine…but only if you forget to wash your hands!
Did you know? An ant can lift fifty times it’s own weight? Big deal, anyone can lift fifty fucking ants! Make it a hundred…easy!
Did you know? An earthworm has five hearts! Of course you didn’t. In fact you didn’t even know they could play poker at all did you?
Did you know? As of Monday you’ll get an extra minute of lunch break for every ten floors your office is above the ground!
Did you know? As well as a Pope-mobile there is also a Pope Cave under the Vatican?
Did you know? British Gas have developed a way of controlling your heating with your mobile phone! .. Heating? When you’re out? Cunts!
Did you know? Certain hair do’s can make your ears look like vaginas?
Did you know? Cockroaches evolved to take 20 times the radiation we can! How? What for? What are they doing, mining Uranium while we sleep?
Did you know? Commercials about ‘lite’ sanitary towels helping women relax on Dates foolishly presume she’d want to go whilst on her period!
Did You Know? Cow patties and beef patties are two COMPLETELY different things. #badmistake
Did you know? Crocodiles can open up their jaws but not move them side to side? So if you’re in Croc country…take plenty of Gum!
Did you know? Crocodiles cannot walk in reverse! So telling one to ‘back the fuck off!’ is your first big mistake!
Did you know? Despite the fact that nobody knows anyone who knows an interesting cop. 90% of dramas seem to be about them. Why is that?
Did you know? Dolphins have to remind themselves to breathe? Needless to say Amnesia is invariably fatal in Dolphins!
Did You Know? Each day, anywhere from 35-150 species of life become extinct? Our prediction for tomorrow is Poodles!
Did you know? Every time an American takes a shit someone dies in a 3rd world country!
Did you know? Every time you take a piss and end up having an unexpected shit too…God makes a magic unicorn in Heaven!
Did you know? Facism started out as an STD in Chimps!
Did you know? Few things will do more to ruin your morning visit to the toilet than some mouth-breather having a TURDGASM in the next trap!
Did you know? For a short time in the early 1800’s, Charles Darwin dated a Gorilla named Cynthia!
Did you know? For some unknown reason disabled toilets have mirror ceilings!
Did you know? Foxes hate human piss! Save a chicken’s life…Piss on it! Do it today!
Did you know? French people are only allowed into their apartments if they are holding a brown paper bag with a baguette poking out of it!
Did you know? Half of the world’s chameleon species live in Madagascar…fuck knows where the rest are!
Did you know? Half of the world’s chameleon species live in Madagascar…fuck knows where the rest are!
Did you Know? Han Solo came back to help destroy the Death Star in return for a Blow Job! http://t.co/ssKnY0lS #starwars
Did you know? Horses cannot see directly in front of themselves! This is why none of them have driving licenses!
Did you Know? Horses use Long-Facbook!
Did you know? I your ‘difficult 2nd album’ is more grown up and full of meaning and less poppy ballads…you’re fucked! #difficult2ndalbums
Did you know? If a man’s ring finger becomes wider than his penis his wife is free to go!
Did you know? If anything happens that is beyond your wildest dreams…you need to buck your fucking ideas up a bit!
Did you know? If Lady Gaga sold all her pubes individually on Ebay it would raise enough cash to send a live hen to Venus! #ladygaga
Did you know? If shower gel commercials showed pubic hair and nipples…a lot more shower gel would get sold! #wankmercials
Did you know? If the person Sat next to you is a dick…it is actually illegal to keep quiet about it!
Did you know? If you emerse yourself in a cloud of fart gas you get better phone reception!
Did you know? If you give a Rooster Helium just before dawn…when it crows, only dogs will wake up!
Did you know? If you leave a goldfish in pitch darkness…you can’t see it!
Did you Know? If you mix Cosmopolitans with Calpol instead of cranberry juice it cancels out your hangover completely! #calpolitans
Did you know? If you shove shit up your ass it doesn’t come out of of your mouth as food! So did we…but we tried it anyway!
Did you know? If you subscribe to Free to The Haddock Newspaper … You’ll never meet a Cockroach AGAIN!
Did you know? In Dante’s Peak a church spire collapses on a school bus and a flluffy toy falls over! So the US adience know it’s serious!
Did you know? In London’s Banking district you’re never more than 20ft from a wanker? Even the rats aren’t that prolific!
Did you know? In North London you’re never more than 20yards from a swinger!
Did you know? In Olympic high-board diving you can do what the fuck you like so long as there’s no splash at the end! #olympics #london2012
Did you know? It is almost impossible to accurately weigh a penis? Any suggestions? #weighapenis
Did You Know? It is completely impossible to have a healthy happy relationship with someone who uses the phrase: ‘Sense of Humour Failure!’
Did you know? It is illegal for Simon Pegg’s character to die in a film!
Did you know? It is impossible to flush a Great Dane down a toilet…God knows we’ve tried!
Did you know? It is not possible to press a shirt with anti-wrinkle cream!
Did you know? It is not possible to sculpt farts into amusing and beautiful shapes…
Did you know? It’s impossible to maintain a meaningful relationship with someone who uses the phrase ‘I’m having a sense of humour failure’
Did you know? It’s impossible to read an autocue whilst performing cunnilingus!
Did you know? It’s Oral Health Month when the nation gives something back to its hard working doctors and nurses by going down on them!
Did you know? Just because ‘Thou shalt not smoke Crack’ is not one of the 10 commandments it doesn’t make it right!
Did you know? Men head straight for the condom aisle whilst waiting for a prescription!
Did you know? Mobile phones do not emit enough light to properly determine if the toilet paper is clean enough to pull up your pants!
Did you know? Mood lighting is the 5th biggest cause of divorce?
Did you know? More and more men are suffering from Immature Ejaculation! Acting like a big kid when they come! Contact your GP for more info
Did you know? Most domestic arguments will come to an abrupt end if one or all the participants talk in a Pirate voice!
Did you know? Most people secretly think that the line about the Puppy in ‘River Deep Mountain’ High just doesn’t wash!
Did you know? Most wasps are gay!
Did you know? Naked female breasts drive evil from the world and restore balance!
Did you know? No matter how many times it is explained by scientists the Big Bang theory still sounds like utter bullshit! #galaxyclusters
Did you know? Nobody can figure out why the fuck so many doctors believe in God!
Did you know? Nothing…seriously Nothing is funnier than poo!
Did you know? Obama’s penis sings excerpts from Porgy and Bess while he sleeps whilst Mitt Romney’s shouts furiously like a staff sargeant!
Did you know? People who always use the same toilet cubicle at work are waging a secret inner war against their colleagues!
Did you know? People who work nights make out whilst watching the sun rise!
Did you know? Physical humour doesn’t work on Twitter…so, er you can all take off those stupid red noses put your clothes back on guys!
Did you know? Poo germs can get through 10 sheets of tissue! That’s why at Haddock News we wipe with depleted Uranium rods! Just to be safe!
Did you know? Puppies don’t know that they’re cute. They believe that their eyes emit a telepathic beam which turns us into cooing twats.
Did you Know? Rhino Horn does not make your Cock Big!
Did You Know? Shortly after the fall of the Roman Empire, Britain was invaded by fabulously dressed, trans-gender warriors! The BI-KINGS!
Did you know? Spelling is really DIFFICUNT when you’re pissed!
Did you know? Strawberries and male underpants are the only things with seeds on the outside!
Did You Know? that any jokes involving animals must be screened by the Dept of Homeland Security before being told in the US state of Maine?
Did You Know? that boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, and The Haddock learned everything we know about anatomy from Kindergarten Cop?
Did You Know? that constellations are man-made constructs based on the pre-existing placement of stars? Yes? Well look at you, smarty arty..
Did You Know? That if you’re walking up the escalator at the mall, there is a 100% chance that some one behind you is checking out your ass?
Did You Know? That when viola violence decreases in the music community, analysists celebrate by calling it a “V-crease”? They also drink.
Did you know? The actors in CSI are only paid half-rate for the slow motion shots!
Did you know? The easiest way to destroy the infrastructure of an enemy country is to swap the gender signs on all the toilets!
Did you know? The first inch of an emerging turd is called the ‘Pioneer Dome!’
Did you know? The first part of a turd that exits your asshole is known as ‘The Pioneer Dome’…
Did you know? The first quarter inch of an emerging turd is called the ‘Pioneer Dome’…
Did you know? The gene which stops dogs getting erect when licking their balls can prevent accidental ejaculation on motorcycles!
Did you know? The man who decorated Stevie Wonder’s house didn’t mention it on his CV!
Did you know? The most common conversation among male residents in an old people’s home is; Who wanked about their friend’s mum at school!
Did you know? The offspring of a moth and a butterfly is called a MotherButter!
Did you know? The ‘one minute’ rule does not apply to the recently deceased!
Did you know? The potions master in Harry Potter is, essentially, a drug dealer! #liquidluckgetsyouhigh #harrypotter
Did you know? The power of The Force is insignificant compared to the irresistible temptation to have a wank in an empty train carriage!
Did you know? The problem with being fat is that your nipples are no longer the first part of you to arrive in any given situation!
Did you know? The secret ingredient in the KFC Colonel’s special recipe is Smack!
Did You Know? The time interval between drags on a cigarette is an indicator of sexual prowess?
Did you know? The very last line of ‘Gone With the Wind’ was commissioned by a Dutch Cheese company!
Did you know? The way to stop your cats waking you up really early in the morning demanding food is to give them serious hangovers! #catbeer
Did you know? The words people would most love to hear a contestant say on ‘Master Chef’ are; “Delicious? It came out of a Packet you Cunt!”
Did You Know? There is a Cathedral in Patagonia devoted to nothing but Scarlett Johansson’s nipples!
Did you know? There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that time travel is like flying down a huge roller coaster made from purple clouds!
Did You Know? There is no word in Esperanto for motherfucker!
Did you know? There’s nothing worse than a bollocking from a doctor when you’re HIGH!
Did you know? To its members, Dogging is the fourth emergency service?
Did you know? To survive in an action movie; avoid old factories or anywhere you can film for free! Bombs and baddies live in those places!
Did you know? Today is DIY Rupert Murdoch day! Just pop a pair of glasses on your scrotum and take a picture…Hey Presto!
Did you know? Tomorrow is National Answer-door-Naked Day!
Did you know? Turtles can breathe through assholes! We know that a Terrapin called Simon once used George Osbourne as a snorkel! #Satire
Did You Know? Tutankhamun wore a digital watch!
Did you know? Women fight for equal rights, but men don’t complain even though the gentlemans toilet is always upstairs in restaurants!
Did you know? World Poverty could be erradicated if all celebrities would just sell nude pictures of themselves! Selfish Bastards!
Did you know? You can help flood stricken homes by donating your old unused Tampons!
Did you know? You can instantly double your income by simply adding the word ‘Artisan’ to your job title!
Did you know? You can lead a cow upstairs but not down stairs. This is because you’re supposed to eat it after you shag it!
Did you know? You can train a chicken to masturbate, but you can’t lead a cow down stairs at the same time!
Did you know? You can’t wank to the Gangnam Style Song because it’s over 3mins long. A wank longer than 3mins is a relationship!
Did you know? Your mother-in-law catching you with your dick in your hand is more stressful than moving house!
Did you you know? Andre the Giant was once employed to take the MGM lion from behind to make it roar on cue!