Eco Building Incorporates Pigeon Mincer!

Pigeon Mincer

Pigeon Mincer

An innovate new building in South London has been designed with the public in mind. As well as providing a boost to the local economy, some luxury housing and yet another glass phallus to the London skyline, it also incorporates the latest technology to help rid London of an unwelcome pest. The new Multiplex Living Tower in Elephant and Castle has not one but three state of the art Pigeon Mincers built into the roof. Its proper name is the Special Pigeon Laceration Array Tower (SPLAT).  These elegant machines instantly obliterate pigeons which stray into them. To attract the birds, Ethel Porridge, an old woman and local character, has been employed to walk along in front of the turbines scattering crumbs and making a cooing sound known to attract pigeons. Although the building is not yet finished it has has been estimated that nearly a thousand pigeons have already been chopped up into tiny pieces by the device. In line with its Eco credentials the building doesn’t waste a thing though, the minced pigeon has been sold to an unnamed charity to feed homeless people.

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