Economy Wash

 

News came last week that the British economy had not expanded but had shrunk, according to latest figures. David Cameron was quick to deny reports that he had confused the economy with one of his cashmere sweaters and put it in on a hot wash, instead of a cool rinse. In a press release issued by Downing Street, Cameron said “The washing machine is the big white metal box in the kitchen isn’t it. I once confused it with the telly and only realised after ten minutes that I wasn’t watching Loose Women at all. 

Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls further added to the furore by stating that if a women chancellor had been in charge of the economy, such a mistake would never have been made. His wife, Yvette Cooper, Shadow Home Affairs Minister, told Balls “not to be so bloody sexist’ and “if you think an iron is an acceptable Christmas present’ then you obviously didn’t notice that I’d put red rings round the new Hoover 750 in the Argos catalogue.