Evil to be to be known as Good ‘Lite’ as part of Satan’s Rebranding Exercise!

Old Stereotypical Images of Satan will be Burned and Obliterated by Demons!

Old Stereotypical Images of Satan will be Burned and Obliterated by Demons!

Better the Devil You Don’t know!

The prince of darkness has enlisted the aid of leading Stylists, Marketing firms and Advertising Companies in order to initiate a complete makeover.

‘It was time for a rebranding exercise.’ Said one of his aides.

In a break with tradition he’s also had his teeth, ears and tail re-done and now looks completely unrecognisable.

Evil is to be Good ‘Lite’

Evil is to be re-packaged as ‘Good Lite’ and Hell will hereafter be known as ‘The Scarlet Penitentiary’.

Sin will be labelled ‘Choice’ and ‘A real alternative’.

There will be a range of new merchandise including, Luicfurniture, Apocalypstick and Beelzebububblegum.

Under the slogan ‘Death after Life’ Satan will try to convince people that paradise is very tedious, so why not have a fantastically naughty life instead?

When asked about his opinion of Heaven he is thought to have said: ‘Well you still have to go to church for starters and we all know how boring that is!’

The super-rich will be entitled to eternal damnation concessions if they are prepared to donate their wealth to him pre-mortem…The poster for this scheme features a gigantic doorway shaped like the eye of a needle saying ‘Don’t worry, any old cunt can fit through here!’

God is believed to be embarking upon his own, more subtle, PR campaign using the hit single ‘Cloud number 9’ by Bryan Adams.

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Posted by on January 28, 2013. Filed under Haddock Culture, Haddock Religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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