If you’re a catholic in the town of Clenching in Berkshire, fear not! The church has a new roof, altar cloth and the woman priest has even had her breasts augmented all thanks to the latest innovation in religion themed home decorating “Jesus Nails”.
Authentically recreated from samples found at Golgotha (the place where Jesus was crucified) the nails have been on sale from the Clenching parish church for the last month in order to raise money to fix the roof.
They’re strong, they’re rustic and at only a pound a throw they’re a steal.”They’re simply the best nails for the job. If they’re strong enough to hold up the saviour of mankind for three hours then they’re strong enough to keep my mock-tudor manor house together for a hundred years!” Said Gary Dink, an ex footballer and local face. He bought five hundred of the nails and proceeded to turn his Wimpey home into something that looks a bit like the rose theatre after a fire.
The Jesus nails are still on sail and the publicity they are attracting will hopefully help to resurrect the local economy.