Fat people advised to ‘Eat the Starving!’

Fat people advised to eat the starving - don't eat a pie, eat a skinny guy!

Don’t eat a pie – Eat a Skinny Guy!

Obesity is now a bigger killer than starvation!

There are many reasons for this and they’re not just to do with eating too much and having a heart attack or choking to death on doughnuts…for example, fat people often find it hard to escape from a burning car or shimmy down a vine when being chased by jungle animals.

It is true that less and less obese people are dying of starvation…but that’s is only part of the reason!

Whatever the cause, fat people are in serious danger and that’s just not fair!

One way to reduce fat is to eat a diet that is high in fibre, and that’s where revolutionary new research may inadvertently solve two problems at once!

Starving people are mainly skin and bone, not an ounce of fat, they’re also very miserable.

Fat people are hungry and miserable.

The answer then is to feed the starving people to the obese people thus eliminating world starvation and obesity in one go!

Digesting all the bones and gristle of a starving person will soon help the fatties shift a few pounds, and less starving people will make a number of governments look good and leave more food for the other starving people to eat.

And lets not forget that humans taste like pork!

A team of obese men have been sent out to various parts of the third world to put this theory to the test.

In the interests of common decency they will begin by eating dead starving people, but if the results are promising then living ones are on the menu, provided they’re happy to volunteer for the program.

In return for feeding yourself to a fat person your family will be given food and iPads!

A mouthwatering prospect we think you’ll agree.



Posted by on December 17, 2012. Filed under Haddock Politics, Haddock Science, Haddock World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.