Female Contortionist wakes up inside her own Vagina!

contortionist with a big growler

Lana in happier times – she had a roomy vagina and a small head!

A Latvian Circus performer called Lana is being treated for shock and distress in a Coventry hospital this evening after waking up in complete darkness gasping for breath.

So flexible is Lana that she managed to slide her whole head inside her vagina during an afternoon nap.

When she awoke she had no idea where she was and it took her a good ten minutes to work out where her torso had gone.

“She does have a particularly large vagina!” Said one of costume designers from the circus who went onto explain that her leotards had to be lined with Velcro to stop her flaps popping out during performances.

“And she’s got an unusually small head!” Said one of the clowns.

Given these facts this terrifying incident was really just an accident waiting to happen.

“She vake up viz her heed up her fooking growler!” Said Carl Munch, chief surgeon at the hospital. “Holy schizer mein liebe schnitzels!” He went on to say before putting on a dress and dancing on one of the tables in a nearby wine bar.

Well, at least she’s in safe hands.