Doesn’t every day life drive you mad?
Busses, breast implants, readers wives, Syria and finding a parking space are just some of the things responsible for the shocking rise in caes of Spontaneous Insanity (SI) among ordinary working people and also junkies.
Up until now there was no instant relief for sufferers of SI leaving them with little choice but to lie naked in the middle of the road shouting the lords prayer at passing aircraft or taking a packet of cigarettes to a restaurant for a meal followed by casual sex.
But help maybe at hand, or in fact, at head!
When you’re feeling insane, wouldn’t it be nice just to have a friendly chemist cut a large chunk out of your brain and throw it into a bin?
Well, guess what? That is no longer a dream!
As of January, your local pharmacist will be given a bottle of chloroform, a rock hammer and a big knife to cut the insanity out of thousands of ordinary people who just can’t hack everyday life.
The side effects are completely unknown and in all likelihood you’ll become a dribbling vegetable, but Rome wasn’t built in a day folks…let’s just deal with one problem at a time.
The move is expected to chill out the population considerably.
In other news, the Dignitas clinic have reported a sharp rise in applications!