As of next Monday, roving bands of Soup Enforcement Agents will take to the city streets and rural hills of the Spanish countryside, making sure all varieties of hot and cold soups are being properly prepared.
Soup Quality Taskforce Superintendent Gabriel Castillas feels very strongly about his team’s mission: “It is completely necessary to rid our country of soups that do not meet the highest of standards. I envision Spain to one day be a nation of Super-Soups, free of any flaws or imperfections.”
He then goose-stepped out of room with a ladle held high.
While many in Spain agree with systemic persecution of inferior soups and soup makers, others are concerned about where the line on good soup is drawn.
“I’m a good woman. I am a good and kind person. I’ve just never been a good cook.” claims a distressed woman from Zaragoza.“Is it so wrong to not know one’s way around the kitchen? Is it a crime to be able to burn water?”
She shed a tear before heading up to the attic – sadly the only place she feels safe cooking.
The Spanish government hasn’t released an official statement regarding the crackdown on dissatisfying liquid foods, but a man with a face-defining scar seems to believe that the operation will be a rousing success.