Gerbil Suicide Pact

Thelma and Louise Style Suicide Pact for Hurdling Gerbils

gerbil suicide

A dawn raid by the RSPCA on a Chiswick Farm exposed an illegal ‘Gerbil Hurdling’ gambling den where two gerbils died making a bid for freedom, by  jumping out of a scullery window, only to die inside an active haybaler.

Mr Windthrope from Gladstone Farm, was arrested today, under the terms and conditions of the cruelty to animals act, when he and four other farmhands were surprised by uniformed officers, and a member of the RSPCA, during an illegal ‘gerbil hurdling’ tournament.

“Although banned in Europe, the gerbils are bred specifically to jump obstacles while goaded with cocktail sticks. Gerbils are chosen for this blood sport, particularly for their leaping ability, as a gerbil can jump up to 18 inches!