In response to the announcement by the government that the minimum price per unit of alcohol should be 40 pence, there was a sudden stampede as hundreds of thirsty MP’s stormed the house of Common’s Bar to get a cheap drink before the legislation was enforced.
Whilst the House of Commons was empty however the booze minister; Brian Templeton quickly passed another piece of legislation designed to keep fine wine away from the uneducated palettes of the unwashed masses.
The government have introduced a minimum price for fine wine of £30 per bottle which is beyond most people’s budget.
“This shouldn’t effect single parent families or poor people as they couldn’t afford it anyway!” Said a government spokesperson today.
He went on to say that in all likelihood low income citizens were unable to appreciate good wine because it is too sophisticated for them.
This sweeping generalisation was met with scorn from the leader of the Labour Party. Mr Milliband (who claims to be a poor little urchin living in some old fruit palettes behind Walthamhstow market) said that he enjoys quaffing Chateau Lafite and has a cellar full of it.
In order to keep everyone happy the Con-Dems have also introduced a maximum price for crap wine. Brands such as Black Tower, Blue Nun and well… anything German really, will not cost more than £4 pounds a bottle and will come with free crisps to take the taste away.