Haddock Balls

The shock waves are still reverberating today after two football pundits were revealed to be boorish, sexist simpletons. It had been thought previously that all members of this elite group were urbane and articulate paragons of wit. This would seem now not to be the case.

‘Basically, she’s come on and played a blinder,’ an onlooker said. ‘To be fair, the two of them was stitched up like a couple of kippers,’ he continued before adding: ‘Phorr, you don’t get many of them to the pound. Go on darling, give us a wave of your flag!’

The two broadcasters in question are believed to have been commissioned by the BBC to write a sitcom aimed at blue collar workers.