Haddock Newsflash – Metric to English Converter

While this transmission does not contain an ancient wind spirit with the power to raise the dead, it does introduce our third anchor: the dreamy-eyed deviant, ambiguous androgynous dreamboat, Dr. Johannesburg Swivel. Fall in love with your carnal instincts all over again. The broadcast also provides handy tips for Metric conversions while inside the mouth of a shark. Wish I had those when I was with my ex-wife, am I right?

My ex-wife was a shark, so of course I’m right. Don’t marry one of those.