Home » Haddocknews Pilot
Expand Video

HADDOCKNEWS – Cockroach PR

Posted by on November 18, 2013
Filed under

Expand Video

Bennet Vindushali

Posted by on December 10, 2012
Filed under

Bennet Vindushali

For optimal enjoyment of this bio, click on the video above and let it play while reading the following text. Bennet Vindushali is a man. A man that bleeds American cheese. A man that bleeds amber waves of grain, Miller Lite and high fructose corn syrup. A man that bleeds a great deal. A man […]

Expand Video

The 5-Minute Power Hour (Pilot Episode)

Posted by on May 18, 2015
Filed under News-Flashes

The 5-Minute Power Hour (Pilot Episode)

  It’s a regular day at the office for Haddock News: the credits are attacking, the anchors are boozing, and the nuns are tasing men in the genitals. Bernard weathers his usual on-air midlife crisis, Bennet is not involved in the theft of a complete brontosaurus skeleton, and Dr. Swivel offers insightful commentary on America’s […]

Expand Video

Haddock Newsflash – Metric to English Converter

Posted by on March 10, 2015
Filed under News-Flashes

Haddock Newsflash – Metric to English Converter

While this transmission does not contain an ancient wind spirit with the power to raise the dead, it does introduce our third anchor: the dreamy-eyed deviant, ambiguous androgynous dreamboat, Dr. Johannesburg Swivel. Fall in love with your carnal instincts all over again. The broadcast also provides handy tips for Metric conversions while inside the mouth […]

Expand Video

Haddock Newsflash – Jon Stewart out, Australia in, Nobody wins!

Posted by on February 17, 2015
Filed under News-Flashes

Haddock Newsflash – Jon Stewart out, Australia in, Nobody wins!

A long time ago, a dude named Moses parted the Red Sea. Not to be outdone, Jon Stewart’s cooking up a red tide of his own, leaving The Daily Show in pursuit of comedy through basic biological function. Also, Australia decides that maps are for cunts and crashes the Eurovision Song Contest! Err…just “The Song […]

Expand Video

Haddock Newsflash – Some Shit, 12.02.14

Posted by on February 16, 2015
Filed under News-Flashes

Haddock Newsflash – Some Shit, 12.02.14

How attractive are you? Not enough, claims a new study released by the Austrian Aesthetics Consortium. But there is certainly hope for you and your ugliness; Haddock News lead anchor Bernard Floater gives you all you need to know about coping with your condition! There’s a funny bit about Bob Dylan too. Related Post The […]

Expand Video

Haddock Newsflash – The Rhyming News Rundown!

Posted by on February 15, 2015
Filed under Haddock Entertainment,Haddock TV,News-Flashes

Haddock Newsflash – The Rhyming News Rundown!

Bernard Floater has refused to accept Alyson Stoner’s challenge to a hip-hop dance battle. He does not believe she’s improved much since her stint in Missy Elliot’s music videos, and as such, is not worth his time. Instead, he has elected to do…this.

Expand Video

Santa Claus is actually Merengue singer Elvis Crespo!

Posted by on December 24, 2013
Filed under Haddock Culture,Haddock Music,Haddock World

Santa Claus is actually Merengue singer Elvis Crespo!

It’s the race-baiting debate du jour that’s been raging since three weeks ago: is Santa Claus a white dude or a black guy? The answer is neither, because Santa Claus is actually Merengue recording artist Elvis Crespo. Through the power of magical laughter from the hearts of children everywhere, every December Crespo is whimsically transformed […]