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HADDOCKNEWS – Cockroach PR

Posted by on November 18, 2013
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Posted by on September 7, 2013
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Posted by on September 7, 2013
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Bennet Vindushali

Posted by on December 10, 2012
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Bennet Vindushali

For optimal enjoyment of this bio, click on the video above and let it play while reading the following text. Bennet Vindushali is a man. A man that bleeds American cheese. A man that bleeds amber waves of grain, Miller Lite and high fructose corn syrup. A man that bleeds a great deal. A man […]

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The 5-Minute Power Hour (Pilot Episode)

Posted by on May 18, 2015
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The 5-Minute Power Hour (Pilot Episode)

  It’s a regular day at the office for Haddock News: the credits are attacking, the anchors are boozing, and the nuns are tasing men in the genitals. Bernard weathers his usual on-air midlife crisis, Bennet is not involved in the theft of a complete brontosaurus skeleton, and Dr. Swivel offers insightful commentary on America’s […]

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Haddock Newsflash – Metric to English Converter

Posted by on March 10, 2015
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Haddock Newsflash – Metric to English Converter

While this transmission does not contain an ancient wind spirit with the power to raise the dead, it does introduce our third anchor: the dreamy-eyed deviant, ambiguous androgynous dreamboat, Dr. Johannesburg Swivel. Fall in love with your carnal instincts all over again. The broadcast also provides handy tips for Metric conversions while inside the mouth […]

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Haddock Newsflash – Jon Stewart out, Australia in, Nobody wins!

Posted by on February 17, 2015
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Haddock Newsflash – Jon Stewart out, Australia in, Nobody wins!

A long time ago, a dude named Moses parted the Red Sea. Not to be outdone, Jon Stewart’s cooking up a red tide of his own, leaving The Daily Show in pursuit of comedy through basic biological function. Also, Australia decides that maps are for cunts and crashes the Eurovision Song Contest! Err…just “The Song […]

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Haddock Newsflash – Some Shit, 12.02.14

Posted by on February 16, 2015
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Haddock Newsflash – Some Shit, 12.02.14

How attractive are you? Not enough, claims a new study released by the Austrian Aesthetics Consortium. But there is certainly hope for you and your ugliness; Haddock News lead anchor Bernard Floater gives you all you need to know about coping with your condition! There’s a funny bit about Bob Dylan too.