Halliburton: Still a viable source of ambiguous evil

The name hasn’t been bantered around much since the Bush era, but Halliburton, a corporation that does some form of really bad stuff, is still out there. And perhaps to the surprise of some, they’re still doing things which we don’t know much about, yet wholly personify the idea of evil.

The online forum at HurtinForTheBurton.com is an community that is actively seeking to return the company to it’s mid-2000s glory. Here is a portion of the website’s mission statement:

We seek to reinstate Halliburton – the shadowy corporate entity shrouded in secret slush funding and malicious oil scheming – as the decisive symbol of evil incarnate. For a generation that spent young adulthood alongside the Iraq occupation, Halliburton was the greatest man-in-a-black-suit of all time. Like the greatest James Bond villain from back when the movies were still good; a seemingly omnipotent money-moving power-machine of a company with ridiculously vast resources and a million men with earpieces. And Science!

What exactly does a company like that do? Who the fuck knows! In the words of iconic Stateslass Hillary Clinton, what difference does it make? They’re there, they’re all-encompassing evil, plain as the black and white on my face.

Simply put, we need to get people back into blaming Halliburton for things. If we have to start with blaming them for parking tickets and working our way up, so be it. If we work together, eventually we can once again have an engaging enemy to display our morality against!

…and that would be better than what we currently have, which is a bunch of war and no questioning whatsoever from the youth or media. Can we have our monolithic evil embodiment back please?

We at Haddock News would be ecstatic if Halliburton reemerged and rose to the Olympian heights of evil, as Laser Owl vs. Halliburton would bring tears to our eyes.