Harry Styles hides Fugitive Badger in his Hair

Leading the Wild-life! Harry has a Badger on his Head!

Harry Styles, sex symbol and child-adult has revealed the secret to his bouffant hairstyle is in fact a large male badger named George who he saved from the government cull.

George, who denies any involvement in the whole ‘Let’s give Cows TB’ scandal, has been living on the singer’s head for around six months and hopes to continue.

Styles (named after a small wooden step, usually found in hedgerows) glued the badger onto his head when he ran out of gel and then never looked back.

The rest of the band ‘One Direction’ were unphased by the fact that one of their number had a prime example of Britain’s largest carnivore on his head.

“We usually stuff things down our trousers,” said one member of the band. “Owls, hedgehogs, that kind of thing…but Harry is the only one with a badger! I think it looks very fetching.”

Well, it’s certainly been fetching him a lot of punani!

It remains to be seen how his female fans, especially the one’s he’s shagged, will react to the news that they were in fact, part of a bizarre tryst!

“George is a shameless voyeur!” Said Harry. “He’s always whispering stuff in my ear when I’m getting my end away…in fact it was his idea that I should start using a butt plug!”

The RSPCA have warned against copy cat fans gluing wildlife to their heads or any other parts of their bodies.

“They’re not accessories, they’re living creatures!” Said Bob Templeton, an RSPCA officer from Leeds.

But alas, life imitates nature, and now nature imitates hair.

Two One Direction fans have already been admitted to hospital for sellotaping rodents to their pubic crowns and one woman is currently missing after attaching her breasts to a rutting stag!

Posted by on February 21, 2013. Filed under Haddock Culture, Haddock Entertainment, Haddock UK. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.