High Alert! North Korea Tests MDMA-Bomb

MDMA-BombAn area the size of Belgium was transformed into a giant love-in yesterday afternoon after North Korea detonated a bomb loaded with liquid ecstasy.

The weapon, considered to be more tactically devastating than a nuclear warhead, is capable of reducing even the most battle hardened and ferocious fighting force into rabble of dancing flakes who want to do nothing more than snog everyone in the room.

The UN is said to be on ‘High Alert’ and a spokesperson for the organisation described the test as diabolical!

Needless to say every dealer from Boston to the West Coast has been bundeld into a black moriah and forced to give up their stash!

“I feel so ashamed!” Said Dr Brian Kramer, a former weapons expert who was dishonourably discharged from the NSA. “We were working on a crack bomb, a cocaine bomb and even an Acid missile but this…well it’s just so much more beautiful…like a butterfly’s navel!” He mused. (Due to long LSD Exposure DR Kramer has to be strapped to an oak board at all times and once the seisure took hold of him he was hastily wheeled out of the press hall.)

There is no indication that North Korea has any plans to unleash this device on the west but it comes as a stark warning that drugs cannot only fuck you up, they can seriously fuck up your Korea!

Bernard Floater Posted by on September 23, 2013. Filed under Haddock Politics, Haddock World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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