Hog Post!

It seems that Spamming has now jumped ship from the Internet to good old fashioned snail mail. In the first mailshot, believed to have been sent out from an anonymous location yesterday, thousands of people in the South East of England recieved at least 100 tins of spam and other cooked meats each. The parcels also contained obscene letters suggesting that they need viagra or asking if they might like to meed up with recently widowed Latvian women living in Calais.

“Suits me!” Said Bernard Spleenstaple from Hastings. “I love spam, I’d shove it up me ass if I thought it would get into me tummy quicker!”

Others were not so impressed, including a group of eco-living vegans in the Darenth Valley in Kent.

“In some countries Pigs are revered,” complained Morgana Nosoap who believes she is a direct descendent of Queen Boudicca. “But here we make them into cubes and use them prey upon lonely people with erectile dysfunction.”

Police believe that in order to reach this market the spammers are developing a vegetarian alternative to spam … apparently “Flan” is one suggested idea. So keep an eye on your mailbox veggies, there maybe a dastardly flan on its way.