Yes folks, the Grand National or ‘Horse Massacre by short men and bushes’ as it should be known in these politically correct days is to take up a new sponsor.
Stand aside John Smith … here comes Cheval Haché the horse meat equivalent of McDonalds.
‘It seemed like a good moment to enter the market as there is quite a bit of interest in horse meat in the UK at this time!’ Said the Marketing director from Cheval Haché .
He is, of course, referring to the recent news that we’ve all discovered that we love horse meat, we just didn’t know it.
We’ve been eating it for years so we might as well carry on, the only surprise is that nobody cashed in on this years ago.
What an opportunity to draw attention to the low fat, high flavour meat of a well trained horse.
Next year the bereaved stable lads will be treated to a marvelous feast created from the twisted corpse of their ill fated nag.
They’re going to setup a BBQ stand next to ‘Beechers Brook’ (a popular horse suicide spot) and sell it straight off the bone.
“Tears of sadness will be exchanged for tears of joy when they taste a thoroughbred feast of racehorse steak! The finest quality, a gastronomic phoenix emerging from the flames of tragedy!” said Jules Renard, CEO of the French company.
On hearing the news two animal rights campaigners were so apoplectic with rage that they died on the spot and were swiftly packed in ice and sent to a Salami manufacturer in Naples, from whence they are expected to wind up in a Findus Lasagna.
Findus, Tesco and Aldi are also believed to be interested in sponsoring the event.