Hosanna in the Heist! Priest and Four Nuns Rob St. Albans Bank

Nuns Rob Bank

A priest and four nuns are being questioned by police in connection with a bank job which took place in St. Albans last Saturday morning.

Staff at the branch were taken completely by surprise when Sister Mary Oliver of the order of St. Caspian pulled out a sawn- off shotgun and demanded that the teller fetch the manager and open the safe.

Panicked customers made a break for the exit but were held back by the remaining clergy who linked arms and formed a barrier across the door.

Sister Mary Oliver was escorted to the back of the building where she is reported to have taken over fifty thousand pounds claiming that if the congregation were too tight to pay for the church roof then she would have to take God’s guidance and get the money from a bank.

Apparently, when asked what part of ‘Thou shalt not steal’ she didn’t understand the woman nicknamed ‘The Nun with a Gun’ replied that all property belongs to God and she is higher up in his organisation than the police so they can bog off if they hope to stand any chance of making it into Heaven!

The money was returned to the bank and the church roof promptly collapsed placing the local police force in a moral quandary.

In a separate incident two cardinals were arrested in Modena for a similar stunt having evaded detection for nearly three months. Apparently the local police force were tipped off when an eye witness reported that the two masked men appeared to be wearing purple socks normally associated with the high ranking church officials.