Hubble Telescope discovers Fabergé egg planet!

Finally, a good use for that thing!

The Hubble Telescope has found the fabled bejeweled planet Arpaethia, better known as the Fabergé egg of the galaxy. Arpaethia called this due to it’s shimmering diamond surface, stained glass raindrops, and the fact that it is owned by the Duchess of Comoros.

Though the planet was officially discovered in 2005, the Hubble has selective memory. No matter how many times it was told that it had already seen the Fabergé egg planet, Hubble refused to remember this fact. Just to be right and never be wrong, ya know you really are a catty bitch Reynaldo!

Ehem. Pardon me.

Pardon Him.

I will. Thank you.

As I was saying, the color of the planet was discovered just this Tuesday, as color itself was only discovered Monday afternoon. How do you like it so far? I’m still on the fence.

I got new contact lenses Monday, coincidentally, and I feel like I’ve been in a Jefferson Airplane music video ever since. What if I’m actually on Arpaethia right now??

Bring on the rubies! The emeralds and the sapphires! Drown me in the 24-karat river like your name was Auric Goldfinger! Gold, fingah!

Alright, article’s over, everybody out. Now!

Bennet Vindushali

Bennet Vindushali

If you're reading this, I'm probably dancing in an American flag thong. Or, I'm reporting vital information in an American flag thong. - Author's Full Bio

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