Hugo Chavez Cabinets Chairing Meeting

Hugo Chavez is proud of his wood. Working.

Hugo Chavez is proud of his wood. Working.

An odd series of miscommunications culminated in Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez building an entire hardwood cabinet in the middle of a public meeting which he believed to be about the condition of government-provided chairing and other sitable furniture. The meeting was actually a gathering of the leader’s own cabinet members, which he was supposed to be himself chairing.

“We thought it was a bit odd when he walked in wearing a carpenter’s belt and safety goggles,” claims Foreign Affairs Minister Antonio Valricaño. “When the measuring tape began to fly, I really didn’t know what to think. But as always, I stood with him, and held his wood when necessary.”

President Chavez – who has been openly battling cancer, Lyme disease and pubic crabs for the last few years – seemed collected and confident while handling a band saw to carve the exquisite Monterey pine used for the cabinet. His staff watched without question as the president let his artistic side loose, etching a detailed portrait of Saint Ariello (the patron saint of board games and air hockey) into the seven-foot double doors of the piece.

Foreign Minister Valricaño claims the move is a “true sign of effective leadership.” In his words, the construction of the now-famous “Chavez Double-Hinge” is a sign of force that should concern opposition parties looking to overtake the Chavez regime in October. “The opposition believes the president is weak, due to his medical conditions. This will show them that not only is he as strong as he has ever been, but he is also just as Communist as his first day in office.”

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