The Hunger Games theme park aims to “get Kids excited about Murder”



BREAKING NEWS: A theme park based on The Hunger Games!

Hungerland! Oh the dystopian delight! I want ALL THE TICKETS!

Tell me more about it, soulless boardroom executive! How many arrows can I shoot at my own family members?

“You can shoot a TON of arrows at your own family members,” laughs Lionsgate Films’ Marketing Executive Chuck Smutlove. “Once you step through the gates, it’s just a free-for-all. Everyone gets bows and arrows, and then, you better start running!”

He’s smoking three cigars simultaneously and eating a whole pig, uncooked.

“We really want the park to have a message,” Smutlove continues. “And that message is ‘inflict mortal wounds upon others.’ If we can inspire at least one child to become interested in killing people, I feel like that we will have done our job.”

If wearing fetish attire and using dildos as weapons is acceptable, I will move into this theme park.

Besides all the murder, there will be a number of theme park staples at Hungerland, including thousands of souvenirs, roller coasters, and a musical ice show. Who the fuck cares!


Dr Johannesburg Swivel Posted by on May 9, 2018. Filed under Haddock Entertainment, Haddock Movies, Haddock World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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