‘Hurricane’ Irene to Sue USA Government

An American housewife is suing the US government over the naming of the hurricane currently devastating North America.

Irene ‘Hurricane’ Tyrene, nicknamed by her friends after her abundant energy and activity, is taking out a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the White House
after becoming incensed that government officials have associated her with a force of nature reaping death and destruction across the country.

The Wisconsin housewife, who has formed the League of All American Irenes (LAAI), said yesterday ‘The federal government is implying that I, and all American women called Irene,  are tempestuous, liable to violent mood swings, have a strong temper and are to be feared by society. I am therefore suing the government for defamation of character and $200million’.

The US Meteorological Office (MO), which merely names hurricanes in a sequential, alphabetical order of female names has chosen not to rebut the action using this simple explanation but instead has chosen to use the defence of ‘fair and valid comment’.

Elmo Schneider-Cunningham  of the MO said ‘Last year Ms Tyrene tried to sue the White House for making her think that a terrorist attack was going to happen at 9.11am every day’.
Jim Carrey, star of the hit film Me Myself and Irene said ‘I got enough criticism about the mental health issues raised in that film without now having to explain about goddamn hurricanes as well’

Kevin Rowland of Eighties chart topping band Dexy’s Midnight Runners said ‘The band get enough stick already about Come On Eileen being a wedding favourite by one-hit-wonders. Now people are calling the tune Come on Irene, and its really getting on my wick.’ 
Julie Walters’ legal team are said to be preparing potential legal action against the Met Office, should the next hurricane be named after her.

Posted by on August 31, 2011. Filed under Haddock Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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