I kissed a dog, I liked it! 

Dog CPR Incident leads to long-term physical Relationship

Dog Replaced by Actor

Controversy today as Brian Mellings of Oxford admitted entering into a long term physical relationship with his neighbour’s dog Miffy. 

To give you some background, Brian is a vet who trains unmarried women and house husbands dog CPR, door-to-door, from the back of his car.

Essentially he takes a stuffed dog into their house, shows you how to kiss it and then charges money for this. Believe it or not he’s a much loved pillar of the community.

However, Brian holds a dark secret.

When he called upon Miffy’s owner last November he didn’t expect to have to use his techniques on a real live patient. But, during the demonstration Miffy, a beautiful blond Afghan hound (if you had to fuck a dog it would be this one put it that way) developed breathing difficulties and collapsed.

Brian, who it turns out has never done this before and isn’t even a licensed vet, was asked to help. At the risk of losing his business he stepped in and began breathing into the dog’s mouth and pumping her chest. Miffy’s owner, Susan, ran to phone for help.

What happened next is unclear but what we do know is that when Susan returned to the living room Brian was smoking a cigarette, Miffy was fine and there was something wet on the carpet.

Brian was licking his lips and nursing a hardon.

Thinking nothing of it Susan thanked Brian and off he went. But after that Brian would keep turning up unexpectedly with dog treats, the really expensive ones that old spinsters give to their toy chihuahua’s.

Soon he was voluntarily walking Miffy five or six times a day.

Matters came to a head when Susan found Brian and Miffy in her bedroom having sex.

Susan immediately ordered Brian to leave and the relationship which had been going on for nearly two years came to an end.

Brian is campaigning for the right to fuck dogs and other pets and has recently started dating a Terrapin called George.

Posted by on April 23, 2018. Filed under Haddock Animals, Haddock Culture, Haddock UK. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *