I’m not Celibate, get me out of here!

More celebrity sackings were announced today, in the wake of what social commentators are calling ‘a new puritanical age’. Following comedian Jason Manford being asked to stand down from The One Show last year for ‘inappropriate behaviour’, ITV has today sacked some of its best loved presenters.

 Mancunian, Manford, was requested to leave the BBC after confessing to being alone in a hotel bedroom, late at night and ‘achieving solo sexual satisfaction’, whilst on tour.  These new rigorous standards exacted on the behaviour of media celebrities, even behind closed doors, has brought yet more casualties.

Ant and Dec today resigned from ‘I’m a Celebrity’
after confessing to regular bouts of ‘cheeky banter’ with their office secretary, while Dermot O’Leary has been sacked from the X Factor after he admitted to ‘inappropriate and prolonged eye contact’ with his PA.

Speculation is rife over who will replace them although the ex-prime minister and currently unemployed Gordon Brown is hotly tipped for ‘Celebrity’ while former Fulham and Liverpool boss Roy Hodgson is the bookies’ favourite to join Simon Cowell et al.