Impotent panda develops dangerous Hentai addiction

Panda ‘Wank-Coma’ caused by Japanese Sex Cartoons

Woo Woo, a giant panda housed at Cincinnati zoo has developed a full scale addiction to Japanese Hentai sex cartoons after they were made available to him in a failed attempt to raise his libido.

However his obsession with the movies led to an incident last Thursday when he was found slumped over a log in what can only described as a wank coma.

Woo Woo and partner Lum Lum have not had sex for over a year and hopes of a baby panda being born were fading.

That’s what gave staff the idea of showing the animals, and particularly Woo Woo, a selection of hard core Hentai movies on loop.

‘We wanted to get the pandas damp!’ said Brian Penk, head keeper and, coincidentally, owner of a rather extensive Hentai library

Initially things looked fairly positive as Woo Woo took a keen interest in the oversized and exaggerated characters and their sexual adventures. So much so in fact that he did little else and often let his cup of tea go cold as he furiously beat off repeatedly during the shows.

Cum Fool Panda

However it soon became apparent that this was turning into an unhealthy obsession which, in the hope of redressing the balance, the staff brought to a swift end by stopping the movies.

Bereft, Woo Woo then threatened to take his own life with a piece of sharpened bamboo, he also embarked on a rather creative dirty protest which upset many visitors.

Finally the staff gave in and resumed showing the films.

And that’s when he over did it.

Hentai Panda

In order to break the cycle and resume hopes of conception the staff have now resorted to dressing up Lum Lum as a Hentai sex vixen complete with balloon breasts and a shaved vajazzle arrangement and they were awoken last night by two loud pops followed by a prolonged groan.

Everyone is said to be thrilled.