The number of so called ‘accidental fingerings’ or ‘friendly fire’ incidents during security searches at the worlds airports has rocketed in 2012, however the perpetrators still insist it’s just a hazard of the trade.
“Occasionally we lose a digit during searches,” Said Brian Payne from Heathrow airport’s customs an excise department. When ‘one goes up’ we usually just laugh it off and give them a duty free voucher!” he smiled.
But vicims of this behavior take a very different view!
“The worst part is that they often have dirty fingernails! The last time it happened the guy had just run his fingers around the soul of my shoes and then ‘pop’ we had a visitor in my departure lounge and all the germs that go with a filthy digit!” Said Marlene, a frequent flyer to and from Newark airport. “I scuttled off for a vodka douche to drown the little blighters and numb the smarting!” she added.
A few fingerings may be a small price to pay for protection from terrorists and drug dealers but it is still not acceptable.
Some incidents are worse than others of course.
A particularily large and forgetful woman arrived at her hotel in Oslo to find a watch belonging to a member of the airport staff was pinned beneath one of her labia!
“I forgat ma pants!” She said. “Jeez, I guess his whole arm must have gone up! I got a fanny like a farm cow…lost a shoe up there one time!”
If you’ve been accidentally fingered, fisted or given any kind of invoulantary genital releif during an airport search we’d love to hear from you!