Insurance company tells consumer to “eat sandpaper”

fap1A man in New Hampshire was somewhat perplexed when he found out he’d been unexpectedly dropped by his insurance provider, First American Property & Casualty, without warning or notification. When he inquired about his coverage, his insurer politely told him to eat sandpaper. Here is a transcript of their conversation:

Man: There seems to be a problem with my policy.

Company: Oh no no, there’s no problem at all, considering you no longer have a policy with us.

Man: Excuse me? Are you saying that you dropped my coverage without notifying me?

Company: Of course not! I’m notifying you right now. Thanks for calling!

Man: Well is there any was to restart the policy?

Company: No there isn’t. But what I can do is this: I’ll send you some premium, fine-coarse sandpaper.

Man: For what?!

Company: To eat.

Man: …you’re telling me to eat sandpaper?

Company: …I’m suggesting it.

When asked for comment, First American stood by their decision, stating that “it is not the company’s responsibility to insure people who pay for insurance policies,” and that “premium, fine-coarse sandpaper isn’t cheap.”

It is uncertain if the man actually went through with eating said sandpaper, or if he just went on to find a new insurance company to be screwed by.

UPDATE — President Obama has personally phoned the CEO of First American to thank him for the ally-oop in regards to the roll-out of ObamaCare.

Dr Johannesburg Swivel

Dr Johannesburg Swivel

I'd very much like to stick my fingers inside you. - Author Bio

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