Ipad has ‘Old screwed up newspaper’ App for Hybernating Tortoises!

Tortoise iPad AppNo Newspaper? What about the Tortoises?

The predicted death of the newspaper industry has filled the tortoise-owning community with dread.

Many tortoises are, as we speak, tucked away in cardboard boxes next to the boiler, buried in newspaper, as instructed by the presenters of Blue Peter, but with no newspaper to tuck them in, what next?

Help is at hand from the egg heads at Apple who have created the new ‘Hybo-Tortoise’ app for the IPad.

Simply switch on the app, slide it into the box with your shelled friends for the winter and they’ll emerge, right as ninepence in the spring.

Toastie Warm, or Toasted?

The application uses the Ipad to keep the tortoise warm, whist a the same time playing a selection of tunes known to relax tortoises and reptiles in general.

Makers of the App assure us that they questioned thousands of tortoises about their music tastes and the overwhealming response was ‘Lounge!’

Independent tests of the app have yielded mixed results with four out of ten subjects emerging partially microwaved.