It’s no secret that Israel is a country comprised primarily of attractive women and hummus. Guess which one is stripping down for magazine stands across the country!*
Yes finally, tastefully airbrushed nudity makes landfall in the Holy Land with the arrival of Playboy Magazine. Shout it from the top of the Wailing Wall!
No longer will grown men be forced to construct elaborate fantasies in their minds while attempting rigidity, nor will young Israeli boys have to browse endless photos in the female section of the Israeli Defense Force’s website to discover their budding sexuality. Both demographics find the publication slightly perplexing however, as the majority of each own internet-ready computers.
Upon sneakily obtaining a copy of the magazine, one Israeli pre-teen shouted “What do you mean, no videos in this thing?!” and promptly returned it to his father’s bedroom nightstand. That same night, the boy’s father could be heard shouting “What do you mean, no videos in this thing?” and then shoving the magazine into the shredder.
Regardless of the archaic medium of porn-delivery, many Israelis agree that its publication is good for the nation. According to a journalist for Shalom Slalom (a weekly magazine about Israel’s thriving skiing industry), the publishing of Israeli Playboy may even contribute to lasting peace in the region.
“It will show the rest of the world that we are a peaceful people, who enjoy witty cartoons and tits,” says the journalist. “Perhaps it will even inspire our neighbors. If we could get Palestinian women to shed even one layer of their full-body attire, it will be a major leap forward.”
* – This is of course a trick question, as Naked Hummus Monthly has been in print for years.