The Haddock’s Head of IT, H Robinson, has installed an exciting new device on the Offices’ 486 Desktop following its recent upgrade to Windows 95 which we hope will speed up the process of writing our articles. The system will trawl the internet for trending news articles, presenting our news team with condenced summaries of current news. The first tests of the system have proved to be relatively successful, and we expect the news team to be utilising the new device within the next few days once final testing is completed. For now, we are proud to attach our first article using the Haddock News Trawler, which we hope will be the first of many.Olympics, olympic olympics, olympics, corporate bullshit, olympics olympic medalist olympics. Olympics olympics olympian, olympic, David Cameron is a bellend, olympics olympics. Women’s Sand Volley Ball, olympics olympics, London 2012 olympics, olympics.Team GB olympic games, official sponsor, olympic rings, olympics. Seb Coe sucks cocks and dicks, olympics, Citius, Altius, Fortius, Intellectual Property Rights, olympics. Olympic Games, olympiad, olympics.Security fuckup, olympic McDonald’s, Visa, Dow Chemical, olympics, olympics, olympics olympics, camel toe, Women’s Sand Volley Ball.As you can see we are pleased with the initial results which we feel with a small amount of human interaction will produce news articles of the high standards for which the Haddock is known.