Italian scientists are attempting to bring one of those mysteries from darkness to light. Their process involves sifting through a number of skeletons and occasionally prodding a few of them with stun sticks.
The genealogical prodding specialists believe to have located the tomb of the woman suspected of Mona Lisa-ing. They soon plan on prying open the doors, scan the remains of the occupants, and if necessary, use non-lethal force should the skeletons become violent.
“We are trained in the most advanced techniques in suppressing skeletal opposition,” claims the team’s head researcher. “We learned all of our techniques from police in the United States; they’re so good at it, they’ve gotten skeletons confess to manslaughter charges!”
The success of these tests are remains to be seen. When asked why this task is of any importance as the country’s financial state continues collapsing, an assistant researcher responded:
“It is important because she was a woman. A woman, who was painted.”