John Paul II to be made a New Orleans Saint

John Paul II, former guy from Poland who would later become the Pope, has now been made an official Saint. Granting his sainthood, team owner Tom Benson chanted a few phrases in Greek, then said: “It is a great honor to welcome such an awesome dude and Pope, John Paul the Sequel, into the New Orleans Saints family.”

Yes, after a stellar track record in life, Pope John Paul 2.0 has been dubbed worthy of the black and gold jersey. He was also supposed to get a Super Bowl ring, but apparently that was stolen by Vladimir Putin.

The high honor of being a member of the team has it’s perks: executive box seats at the Superdome for surviving relatives, yacht trips for the casketed deceased. Dog walking services provided by Alice’s Paw Palace of Lafayette.

As the title of Saintliness is honorary, it is very unlikely that his holiness will see much field time.

Bennet Vindushali Posted by on July 6, 2013. Filed under Haddock Religion, Haddock Sport, Haddock US. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.