Juicy J physically unable to say no to ratchet pussy

It doesn’t seem too far a stretch to think that some people cannot say no to things; dogs can’t say no to bones, schizophrenics can’t say no to oven mitts, and pie charts never say no to anything. However with people, a certain level of self-control is expected for the general conducting of affairs. Sadly, this is a control mechanism that is not present in the rapper Juicy J when he is exposed to ratchet pussy.*

The Three 6 Mafia member’s condition came to light in his recent hit single “Bandz A Make Her Dance” – a song about getting women sexually aroused via drum corps routines. While most fans consider Juicy’s line about his powerlessness against ratchet pussy to be the most entertaining line in the song, the rapper considers the lines a “personal cry for help that could use a public awareness campaign.”

“If ratchet pussy tells me to get on a plane to China, call me a peking duck,” claims the rapper. “Do you know how dangerous that is in my line of work?!” Indeed, the condition forces Mr. J to be extremely cautious, as only the most ratchetest of ratchet women listen to his music.

In all, Juicy J has come to terms with the condition, and has made several strides towards overcoming it. “When they bend it over, I now have the control to not poke it like wet paint. That’s a major step forward,” says J.

Oh, and this man won a mother fuckin’ Oscar by the way. Like an Academy Award.

* – What is “ratchet pussy” exactly? I’m so very glad you asked! Click here, then click here, then don’t click here.