Kate Middleton’s Foetus sends first Tweet

kate middleton's foetus sends tweet

Tweet of Power!

The foetus growing inside Kate Middleton Duchess of Cambridge has sent its first Tweet today.

The message, which conveys one’s happiness about changes to the law of accession also mentions a lack of food and lots of retching noises coming from mumsy.

A secondary message alluded to the fact that that it doesn’t as yet know what gender it is but seeing as this no longer matters it may be a Hermaphrodite.*

*Were this to be the case there would be a referendum on whether to call it a Quing or a Keen. 

This is believed to be the first social media output from a royal foetus, or any foetus for that matter and it has triggered a furious bidding war over rights to the first interview.

The foetus currently has around two million followers which breaks all kinds of records which didn’t even exist a few days ago.

Rather more worryingly, a group of journalists are believed to be in negotiations with the growing royal about a possible ‘exit photo’ as it slides out of the royal vagina.

The foetus was believed to be strongly against the idea initially but is open to offers if the correct charity is to benefit from the funds.

From now on foetal Tweets shall be known as Foeets by the way.

This comes the same week as the Pope is believed to be sending his first Tweet which is expected to start ‘God Says That You MUST…etc.’  @God @jesus @holyspirit #amen (which doesn’t leave much room for the actual message).

Subscribe to The Haddock Today!