Katy Perry’s performance of her song “Dark Horse” at last night’s Grammy Awards inadvertently summoned the otherworldly spectre of doom known as Cthulhu. The singer had been trying to get Satan himself, but could not secure his appearance due to union rules.
Cthulhu entered through the venue’s ceiling, and cried out a sound which can not be interpreted by human ears. He then ate a few back-up dancers and showered Taylor Swift in blood. He then joined Juicy J in a rapping duet, and made a hasty exit through a trans-dimensional portal.
For some reason the summoning was billed as a promotion of breast cancer awareness. For more on pagan bloodletting rituals, click here.