Kim Jong il to be Succeeded by Alan Carr

Chat show host Alan Carr is to become the next Leader of North Korea after the death of Kim Jong il.

The stand-up comedian is a deadringer for the deceased despot and the Korean authorities need a similar face, to ensure a smooth transition of leadership.

Carr will receive an annual salary of one million Korean dongos, the equivalent of ten euros a year and will also become the leader of the Korean State Communist Party.

The comedian, who has had to cancel a national stand up tour and new television show, said ‘I’m delighted to be given a role where I can stay in bed all day, watch television and do sod all and get paid handsomely for it’.

Carr will also host a Korean chat show entitled ‘Alan Carr: Slightly talkative fellow’ where he will interview army generals, stamp collectors and cement factory owners.

Other famous celebrities have offered to temporarily replace politicians.

Eighties pop star and fellow Sheffield resident, Martin Fry of ABC has offered to stand-in for British deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg over the Christmas break.

Additionally, Paul Weller, the writer of hit record ‘Eton Rifles’ has told David Cameron, if he wants a couple of days off over the festive break, he’ll gladly cover for him. Cameron has accepted.