The great and marvelous supreme manchild of the most exalted nation on the planet has sent a message to America and the world: “we will totally bomb you with real bombs if you don’t play video games with us and talk about Pokemon.”
He made his message known via a most brilliant Youtube video, called “Something in Korean That We Couldn’t Get to Translate Properly.” The video has a moving rendition of “We Are The World” as its soundtrack, and lots of sparkly flying shit (to let you know that Un means business).
Death of innocents aside, the video has the tech world buzzing, as it was created using Un’s mysterous new smart phone seen in a number of secretly obtained photographs. The phone is indeed a mystery: A Motosung Mystery SD2.
The brand is so ultra exclusive that he is one of two people to have the phone. The other person who owns one is Ted Turner; it’s what he used to shut the power down at the Super Bowl because he’s an asshole too!
Haddock US would like to send a message back to the North Korean leader: we bet you have no idea what airport bathroom is sex like.