Lawn Jockeys Hold Ground Amidst Possible Season Lockout
By: Thinker St. James
With the latest contract proposal roundly rejected by lawn jockeys, talks between their union and the Thoroughbred Hobbyhorse Racing Association have gridlocked for the third straight week according to THRA spokeswoman Jane Sweeney. The continued tension between the jockeys and their team owners stands to threaten the entire Hobbyhorse racing season, slated to begin October 18th in the magical twilight hours of dawn before the world wakes from it’s slumber.
The dispute between factions dates back to last March, when the THRA restructured its deal with Garden Gnomatics Ltd., allowing the league to purchase new power-efficient light bulbs at steeply discounted rates under President Obama’s Green Energy Initiative. With the new bulb model’s longer lifespan, less is needed in bulk purchase for the league to power the tiny lamps held by their jockey’s. Savings are valued at $17 million (US). According to Lawn Jockeys United representative Periwinkle Hobblecup, “we deserve a piece of those savings, most especially considering how terrible these new light bulbs are.