This may not sound like news, but a rat has been seen outside Downing Street. The appearance of the rodent has prompted calls that the government should employ a cat to kill it. While it is true that the aforementioned rodent will most likely leave of its own accord when, in a year or two, Number 10 inevitably begins to resemble a sinking ship, opinion is divided as to how this problem should be tackled. Firstly, so as the interests of both parties in the coalition government are taken into account, a kitten will also be employed to help the cat in its duties. The rat, will receive support from a shadow cat belonging to the Labour Party, however the animal is very small and blind in one eye. All expenses accrued by both sides must be declared to the Inland Revenue, however the shadow cat will be allowed to claim additional expenses on account of the fact that he lives in Suffolk and only rents in London when on party business. The Haddock understands that should the rat be caught and or eaten the shadow cat will be found another post in the opposition cabinet. Should the coalition animals fail, they will be implicated in a phone tapping scandal and retire from public life.