Lord Lucan Found Living Inside Nelson’s Column

lord lucan inside nelson's column

Home of the Pigeon King

Who’d have thought it? He was right under our noses all along.

Lord Lucan who dissapeared under mysterious circumstances  in 1974 has been living in the centre of Trafalgar Square. 

He now calls himself ‘The Pigeon King’ and has a beard so large it weighs more than his body!

Several thousand empty Gordon’s bottles and opened tins of gentleman’s relish were also found at the scene.

 The discovery was made after agents from MI6 working with the RSPB identified his most trusted courier pigeon ‘Simon Jones’.

Simon Jones had been under surveillance for some time but only when he slipped up was the location of his master revealed.

Questions have been raised about how he could have been so close to Whitehall and yet go about his business unnoticed.

“The government must have know something about this surely!” said a spokesman for the Labour Party.

Lord Lucan who was found cowering behind his favourite teddy bear (whom he blames for everything) has been given a set orange pyjamas and sent to the priory where they will slowly drip gin onto his forehead in pitch darkness until he admits to the gunpowder plot, the assassination of President Kennedy and facts pertaining to Area 51.

All they’ve managed to find out so far is that he went in there to give himself up and the door closed behind him before he could stop it.

It was then he realised that this was not Scotland Yard!